Emotions aren't easy and definetly not simple. Humans feel and experience such a wide range of emotions every single day that it's no wonder we often get overwhelmed. Because of the situation we are in, isolation has become the norm. This only accentuates this overwhelming feeling. Now we have to deal with our emotions on a much more full-on level as there's not much else to do.
This isolation period has brought up these thoughts and has inspired me to do a photography challenge. Using my sister, Lucia, as a model, I have attempted to capture some of those fleeting emotions that I think a lot of us go through on days like these, at least I do. She has done a wonderful job of channeling all these emotions and feelings. Another aspect I added to this challenge is to not edit, so the following photographs are the direct result obtained with the camera.
"May you find serenity and tranquility in a world you might not always understand" - Sandra Sturz
I've decided to talk about serenity first because I feel it's the most important to battle all the other negative emotions that being in isolation brings us. We need to find a way to counterbalance loneliness or frustration. This is one of those things that is infinetly easier said then done, but we must find a way. This photograph in particular was taken at 7.45 am, taking advantage of the so-called Blue Hour. The settings for the camera where: speed - 1/50, aperture - f.1.8, ISO - 400 and white balance - tungsten light. The reason for these setting and time for representing this emotion, is that I am a morning person. It's at this time, in the early moments of the day, that I feel most calm and peacefull. The reason I enjoy waking up with the sun is because it prepares me for the day in a way that I begin taking a breath and a moment for myself. It gives me the time I need to slowly wake up at my own pace before having to delve into my work day. And in these uncertain times, this little morning routine has become increasingly more import to me.
"The wind breathes lonely, longing to be seen. Sometimes the soul has days like these." - Angie Weiland-Crosby.
On the opposite side of my emotions scale to tranquily and serenity is sadness and loneliness. This is an emotion that I don't necessarily feel every day, but when I do, I feel it hard. It's so hard to be isolated when we are such social creatures by nature. We can begin to feel small, unimportant and forgotten. We are experts at getting caught up in our negative feelings. My solution? Let yourself be caught up. In my experience the only way to move on from emotions such as loneliness or heartache is to do what your asks for. Throw yourself a full-blown pitty party. Watch the sad films, listen to that depression playlist, binge eat that icecream or chocolate. Do what you need to do and get it out of your sistem. But don't let it last more than 48 hours. "Feel what you need to feel and then let it go. Do not let it consume you" - Dhiman.
This photograph was taken just after sunset. The sun had dissapeared, and with it that lovely golden glow. It's at this of day when I normally feel most lonely and vulnerable. The settings used were: speed - 1/250, aperture - f.1.8, ISO - 100 and white balance - tungsten light. The reason I focused on the arms instead of the eyes, was because I wanted to translate that feeling of introspection and distancing we all experience when we want to just dissapear.
"I can't think of a better representation of beauty than someone who is unafraid to be herself." - Emma Stone.
Once again, I travelled to the other side of the scale, to keep balanced, to talk about happiness. Being carefree. Is there a better feeling in world? When on your on a high and nothing can bring you down, when everything seems to be tinted in bright and warm colours. The biggest mistake we make is trying to understand why we feel like this when we do. Don't. Just feel it. Be in the moment and soak it in in all it's glory.
Laugh because you feel like it, smile because your mouth wants to and dance simply because it feels good.
This photograph was taken in the sunset, at Golden Hour. That beautiful time of day when everything turn soft and light-hearted. The settings of the camera were: speed - 1/400, aperture - f.3.2, ISO - 100 and white balance - daylight.
"I got so much procrastinating done today" - Unknown
How many times have you put something off until tomorrow knowing perfectly well that you could have done it today? How many times do you become a storyteller to feed yourself excuses about why you're not doing something right now? How many times have you complained you have too much to do and then spent an hour on instagram?
Procrastinating is so easy to fall in to, and social media hasn't made it any easier. I too am guilty of all the questions adressed above, it's why I felt the need to add procratination in this series. Yes, it's easy to procrastinate and leave things to the next day. Yes, it's more fun to sit on your phone than work. But does it make us feel better?
By this, I don't in any way want to make you feel like you can't spend time doing nothing and just being, on the contrary, "all work and no play, makes Jack a dull boy". However, there is a difference between taking breaks between work and deciding you've done enough for the day, and putting things off and end up not doing anything all day. What I do is allow myself to have time for not being productive. Allowing myself to play, to be. In a world that is constantly moving so fast, it's so easy to get burnt out trying to be productive every waking moment. Make time for you, we need to become a priority in our own lives.
This photograph was taken with speed - 1/60, aperture - f.1.8, ISO - 200 and white balance - tungsten light.
"Holding on to anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die" - Buddha
Anger. Fury. Rage. Things we've all felt during this isolation period. It's a natural response to all the uncertainty we're faced with, we feel so helpless, our own life is so far out of our control it results in us lashing out. Whether it's at ourselves or at those around us, it's a result of our desperation. This anger more often than not dissipates into grief and sadness. Like I said before, just let yourself get on with it. Feel it completely and then let it go. The reason for choosing this quote by Buddha is because, altghough it's a completely normal feeling to have, anger is so harmfull to our own being, we musn't let it fester inside us.
To go with the harshness of fury, I took advantage of the light in the middle of the day and adjusted the camera settings to speed - 1/640, aperture - f.3.2, ISO - 100 and white balance - daylight.
"I wasn't born with enough middle fingers to let some people know what I think of them" - Unknown.
Disgust. We've all felt it. It's a very versatile emotion. Although, right now, most of my disgust is reserved for the situation we're living. Is it fair? No, but let's be honest, what is? Disgust is an awful emotion, although sometimes it really is unavoidable. This emotion also gets mixed uo sometimes with anger or sadness, it can go either way really. We either feel disgusted by something or someone and that just makes us sad. Other times we get infuriated with what or who we are disgusted by. It's also quite common that this disgust comes from a place of jealousy. Like most ugly emotions, we simply have to try to make it as fleeting as possible. Let it wash over you so that it won't take up any of your time.
For capturing this emotion on all it's glory, I used a green filter on the spotlight and set the camera to speed - 1/60, aperture - f.1.8, ISO - 100 and white balance - tungsten light.
"Too many of us aren't living our dreams because we are living our fears." - Les Brown
I left fear until last because I feel that it's the most common emotion right now. Society is paralised, on an international level. We are all paralised with fear and uncertainty. These emotions are also very linked to anger, some of us feel scared and that makes us angry, others start off being furious with the situation, until this rage slowly turns in to fear.
It's an emotion that has the nasty habit of just creeping up on us, little by little, taking a hold on our soul, and before we know it, we aren't acting because we're trapped in a place of fear.
Reality is unavoidable it's there, staring us in the face, and what's going to happen will happen, regardless of whether we want it to or not. However, even if we don't have full control over what might happen, we do have complete control over how we want to react in the face of situation. We can choose to be courageous instead of fearful. We can choose to stand up for want we want and believe in instead of giving in to fear.
To achieve the emotion of fear I put the spotloght below the model and set the camera to speed - 1/125, aperture - f.1.8, ISO - 100 and white balance - white fluorescent light.
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